"Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped." - African proverb
I think it's funny that they call it gawker's block. (Also known as rubber necking) Everyone who's been stuck in traffic assumes that the idiot in front of them is slowing down just to look at the accident and thus causing traffic. The interesting thing is that it's not really the casual glance to the side that's causing the backup on (insert your favorite freeway here). What happens is that at a certain point in time (the accident) that particular section of the freeway is forced to a safe speed and becomes constricted simultaneously. This means that the volume of cars that can pass that point is much less than before. Since the freeway is a continum, the volume of cars at any one point must be nearly equal to the volume of adjacent points. In layman's terms, the freeway starts backing up. The real question everyone wants to know is, after the accident is cleared, why doesn't everyone start speeding up? The problem is, even after the accident is long gone, you still have the same number of vehicles trying to pass through the same area in the same amount of time. In other words, there's no room to speed up. You see, in order for a traffic jam to clear, there has to be less traffic coming. So it doesn't matter if you don't look. It doesn't matter if you drive away fast. Nothing helps the traffic jam behind you. Behind me, you say? I care about the traffic jam that I'm in. What was the point of this pointless lecture? The point is, the traffic jam isn't caused by people in front of you. It's caused by you and the people driving around you. So next time you want to run over the person in front of you that's "slowing down" to look at the accident, consider this: Our situations are not caused by the immutable history that other people have created. They are determined by how we continue to interact with those around us.
Well, in case you were wondering, I still have my job ... for now. Hushed conversations by the water cooler, talk made in whispers, and meetings behind closed doors are all commonplace these days. I personally don't think I'm at risk. Still ... oh well, in any case, there's no point in worrying. Besides, it was a gorgeous weekend wasn't it?
Saturday was a hectic day. I drove out to Stoneridge Mall to pick up a birthday card and a wedding card. It was supposed to be a 45 min trip. I ended spending about that much time looking at the big screen tvs at Sears. I would have been stuck there longer had I not realized that I was going to be late for Nina's wedding. I quickly finished up my shopping and sped home. I ended up getting to the ceremony in Palo Alto with about a minute to spare.
After the lovely (and hot) ceremony, I drove up to Richmond for Scritch's (Richard) party. Rich imported 1.5 tons of sand into his backyard to create an artificial beach. What a host! Unfortunately it was pretty windy and no one really want to wade in the inflatable pool in the backyard. Still, it was the craziest party I'd been to in a while (best food too!) I'd give out details, but I don't really remember that much. :)
Today was quite a bit tamer. I moved my new (used) sofa and loveseat into my house with a lot of help from my brother. (Thanks Dave!) After which I drove down to SJ to have dinner with a bunch of friend at the new Arcadia Restaurant (by Michael Mina of Aqua fame) in the San Jose Marriott. The food was en par with other high end restaurants, but a little more pricey than I would have though judging solely by taste. However, the real appeal of this restaurant is service. From the Ahi tartar which was mixed right in front of us (not beside the table, on our plates), to the Maine Lobster Pot Pie which was carefully arranged to look like the original lobster, everything looked and felt exquisite. More than that, the place is spacious. When's the last time you went to a restaurant that wasn't packed from wall to wall with tables? In this place, I barely noticed anyone else in the restaurant. All in all I think it was worth it, though I wouldn't go back too often.
Doorstops continued: It's a good thing people read this site. My friend, Rebecca, e-mailed me today informing me that most refrigerators have a built-in stop for just this sort of problem. Two months I've been living with this refrigerator and had I ever bothered to look underneath? Noooooo. Silly me. So I went home today and lo and behold, right underneath the door hinge was a little rubber stop that you can lower on to the floor to hold the refrigerator in place. What will they think of next? Thanx 'becca!
I get the feeling that summer is finally here. When I arrived home today, I threw open all the windows to let the house cool down. It's now 11 o'clock and, stripped down to my skivvies, I'm still sweating like a pig. (Isn't that a plesant image?) Still it's worth it. It was quite a gorgeous day today.
Layoffs. I guess everyone else has had to deal with them, so now it's my turn. Today the office was abuzz with the word. 40 people. That's about 8 percent of the work force. A small drop in the bucket compared to what others have had to deal with. It's times like this I'm glad I'm not a manager. Though if it were up to me, I think I'd know who should stay and who should go. Well, in case I'm out of a job soon, anybody want to hire an aspiring writer? Anyone?
I dropped by Target after work today. I was looking for some doorstops for my refrigerator. That's right, refrigerator. Why? Because the thing's on wheels and it tends to move whenever I open the door ... slightly annoying except for when I have to clean underneath. Anyway, so I'm roaming around Target thinking, if I were a doorstop where would I be? Home Improvement? Furniture? Alas, after about half an hour of roaming around, I decided there were no doorstops to be found.
The funny thing about that is, while I was perusing the shelves, I started wondering why, even though we hate looking for things, we continue to do so even after it's almost certain that we'll never find it. I think it's something that's deep inside that compels us to seek out the things we want more fervently the more they elude us. It is perhaps the balance that we all strike between these quests, large and small, for hidden treasure and the reality that is all too encompassing.
Balance. I took a look at a friend's home theater system. Unreal. 100 inch screen, DLP projector, 7.1 surround sound. I like it. That is to say, I like the fact that it exists and it isn't mine. Don't get me wrong, I definitely want to get a home theater system, just not a super nice one. Because if I had something like that, I might be satisfied. I think I'd miss the desire. Balance.
I've been spending way too much time shopping for and reading up on home theater equipment. Monopole, dipole, and bipole. Harman Kardon, Onkyo, or Denon. More TVs that I care to list here. On the other hand, I walked into a eyewear shop and plunked down a little more than $500 for new glasses. Somehow that feels good. Like the release that comes with making a decision after agonizing about it for so long. Of course these two things shopping excusions are only related in my mind, isn't transferrence wonderful?
It turned out to be a weekend of celebrations. A birthday and a wedding. Someone actually asked me if I was getting married. Ha ha! It was a pair of beautiful days to be sure.
Ten days ago, two good friends of mine had a baby. Kaitlyn Renee, welcome to the world. I hope you'll enjoy your stay here, maybe learn a thing or two. Better yet, teach us a thing or two. As I'm sure you will.
After the festivities have died down, I cross this short distance to find your light still on. Then watch it as it winks off, signaling you to sleep. And drive home on this newborn morning with its dappled silences. Good night all.
Don't you hate it when you get roped into doing something without actually being asked? Okay, maybe that hasn't happened to you. Maybe it just happens to me because I'm too nice. Or maybe it's because I like to do favors for friends. Either way, what's worse is, sometimes the friend goes on to tell me how I should do it, even though I know it's wrong. Okay, I play along. I figure, hey it's his life. He can have it his way. Of course, at this point, I'm a little annoyed. But it doesn't stop there. Oh no. As the date of the favor draws near, said friend asks, did you get this done? I say, just like you asked. He says, good, so it's going to be like this? I say, you told me not to do it that way. He says, I did? Can you change it? I say, Grrrr ... I'll try. Okay, now I'm really pissed. Days like yesterday I'm glad I'm not a violent person.
Then today, I had to call up my supplier and explain to him the the word delivery implies taking said purchased item, off the truck. After a bit of haggling he decides to bring up this bit about a little bit of extra work on the product I order that he added for no cost. At time that little transaction occured I WAS grateful. However, I had since gone back into the contract and looked up the agreed upon terms and found out that he had originally agreed to do it my way. In other words, previously he had been trying to make a little extra money but cutting a few corners. Grrr ... so he mentions this "favor" and I have to lay the smack down. Heh heh. Of course, he acts all confused and seeing as this is a business transaction, I decide not to smack him around like the little bitch he is. That's right, let's see him try to collect his money without taking the stuff off the truck for me.
Life happened today. Even without the plethora of half formed analogies and meaning-of-life questions that run through my head, life went on. And for a little while it was quiet. The barely perceptable sound of breathing. The beat of my heart. And then sleep.
The weekend started out early, both in time and date. I awoke at 5:00am to get over to Rich's place in Saratoga so that his sister, Miranda, could drive us to the airport in time for our flight. Turns out that your standard two hours isn't really enough anymore these days, especially when you're flying American Airlines. We made it on to the plane with a few minutes to spare (Time saving hint: Do not wear Rockport shoes through security. They have metal bars in them.) And after a quick two-hour stop over in LAX (and more security) we were in Cabo San Lucas. After checking into our hotel, Marina Fiesta, it was nearly dinner time so the first order of business was dinner.
After getting our bearings, we finally found a place on Marina Blvd. called El Corral. We ordered ourselves two rather large margaritas and a scrumptous seafood platter. A word of caution, although you can get pretty cheap drinks in Cabo, in general, Cabo is not cheap. Afterwards, we went searching for the Wild Coyote, which turned out to have closed. In its stead was the Tower Bar which had a spectacular view of Cabo, which Rich and I enjoy for a long while while sipping on Johnny Walker Black. To finish off our first night in Mexico, we headed out to some of the local nightclubs which all had reasonably large crowds. After a bit of an ado in front of one of the clubs, Kaboo, we ended up at El Squid Roe. The verdict: Sucked. Expenisive drinks, so-so music, very aggresive waitresses.
Day two: We started to day off trying to find some genuine mexican food. Not too far from the main tourist area we found what I can only describe as food bar. The one major difference between the way Mexican food is served in Mexico and the way it is served in the States is the salsa. Salsa in the US sucks. Period. At the more traditional eateries in Cabo you get four to six different salsa to sample. Each one ten times better than the crap they give you at Chevy's or El Torrito. After filling our bellies we pretty much squandered away our first full day in Cabo on the beach sipping on two dollar margaritas. We decided to be a little more adventurous for dinner and ended up at a newly established place whose name I think was Tecuba.
The owner of the restaurant offered us a free drink to try to get us into his restaurant and well, it worked. As Rich describes them, they were, hands down, the best apple martinis ever. Indeed. The food that night was surpassingly good. From the freshly baked bread which melted like butter in my mouth. To the sea bass cooked in a sause so good I acutally drank it from the dish (the alcohol might have contributed to that) The only low point of the meal was dessert, which was too expensive and mediocre at best. All in all, with the great food, the free drinks, and the excellent company ( the owner's wife sat and talked to us for a long while) it was definitely in the top ten dining experiences of my life.
Day three: We decided to venture farther from the touristy areas to look for lunch. (If you're wondering why our days start with lunch, we didn't manage to get up before 11 on most days.) We found a carneceria a few blocks away from Marina Blvd which served some really good pork. Afterwards, we vowed to buy a kilo of pork (for 200 pesos, or about 20 bucks) sometime in the near future. Afterwards we, pretty much squandered away the day on the beach drinking beers and maragaritas before working our way on to one of the appropriately named "Booze" Cruises, which although started off rather slowly, ended up being a little too much fun for both Rich and I. Pictures to follow.
Day four: We woke up early, mostly because we had signed up for an ATV/Snorkelling excursion, but also in part because we were very hungry from having passed out before dinner the night before. Breakfast, although good, was not really worthy of note and afterwards we hurried back to the hotel to catch our shuttle out to the Sand dunes for some ATV riding. If you've never been ATV riding and you are any sort of speed enthusiast, it is a definite must. I thought it was pretty fun except for dodging the cactus and lance-like tree branches; Rich wanted more so badly that he convinced our ATV tour guide to let a small group of us go out for a short ride through to course even though we should have been headed back. Afterwards we went to a beach up the coast a ways for some snorkelling.
Turns out I don't care for snorkelling much, so I ended up talking to our main tour guide while sitting on the water's edge. To me, there's something about watching the waves ebb and flow ever closer until the warm waters start to lap at your feet and then begin to engulf you. I like watching little kids build sand castles. I mentioned this to our guide. He said that his son used to build sand castles when he would take him to the beach (they were both surfers) but that he had passed away only four months ago. Nine years old, leukemia. For all of that he seemed a remarkably cheerful person. I think the way we deal with death varies from culture to culture. One thing is the same I think, we are like kids playing in the sand. We build our castles and hope they will last, but the waves always come. We are always trying to make permanent that which is temporary.
Day five: We decided to make good on our vow to get the kilo of pork. We parked ourselves on a curb in front our hotel and ate messy pork burritos while passers-by looked at us strangely. It turned out to be a bit too much for one sitting and we packed it up for later. After a short bit of shopping and sitting by the poolside, it was time to go. At the airport we broke out the pork and finished it off. The tortillas were too stale to use as anything more than napkins, which we did. Somehow I can't help but think I broke half a dozen rules about eating that my mom taught me. Our flight turned out to be delay so that we got bumped to an earlier flight, thus ending up back in the Bay Area almost two hours before we expected too. All in all, not a bad weekend.
This will be my last entry for about a week. I'm off to Cabo San Lucas on Friday. I just love these spur of the moment vacations. Planning? Who needs planning? The great thing about this vacation (as opposed to others) is that I'm not planning on seeing or doing anything ... I'm just planning on being. I'm going to leave all of this behind for a few days and hopefully the world doesn't come crashing down while I'm gone. :) So to all of you out in cyberspace, hasta luego.
This is something I thought about a while back that was rekindled today by some post-climbing small talk: Types of attraction. (If you aren't up for reading pseudo-metaphysical ponderings, please stop here. Okay, you've been warned.) First we break attraction up into four types. These are, physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. Each of these has two sub-levels, passive and active. Passive we perceive, though not necessarily accurately, instantly; active, through time. First, passive physical attractiveness, this is what we call beauty, it is the thing that we are most familiar with. Through time, the aesthetic becomes distorted by active physical attractiveness, for lack of being able to come up with a better word, sensuality. This includes the entire gambit of physical experiences from how close someone stands to you and how they position their body towards you to intimate physical contact.
Second, there is passive intellectual attractiveness. One ascertains what it is the person is doing and use that as a measure of commonality in interests. As one learns more about the person, one formulates a list of common interests, ideas, opinions; in general, what they do. (As opposed to what they are doing) This is active intellectual attractiveness. The more common core interests they have in common with you the more attractive they are to you. This gets a little complicated however since usually it is only a few core interests that really count. For example, and audiophile would definitely be more attracted to another person who appreciates music. Other interests that don’t match, though more numerous, are usually ignored.
Third, we have passive emotional attractiveness. Basically this is how happy someone seems when one meets them. When you first meet some one you tend to set a baseline of their emotional state, which is commonly called the first impression. Do they seem to be having fun in what they are doing? Is this person a happy person? Usually people are attracted to happy people, though as misery enjoys company, it is sometimes the case that unhappy people are attracted to other unhappy people. This is then reinforced by active emotional attractiveness, behavior. One begins to judge what a person is “really” like. Usually if it’s not too far from the first impression, the status quo is maintained. If it is far from the first assessment, complications occur.
Lastly, there is passive spiritual attractiveness, or character. You assess this the moment you perceive someone to be a nice guy, or on the flip side, a bad boy. As with the other types of attractiveness, what type of person one considers attractive in character varies fairly widely. This is generally altered over time by active spiritual attractiveness, morals. You start to see if a person holds true to what they believe or is consistantly dishonest with themselves. Most people find a person who holds to his or her own morals (however true or twisted they may be) more attractive than a person who is always breaking his or her own morals.
In summary, attractiveness goes far beyond cute, pretty, hot, and gorgeous. Just in case you were wondering.
Blink. Blink. Blink. The cursor mocks me and my writer's block. I'm sure I had at least one or two interesting thoughs (at least to me) today, but none seems pertinent enough to put down in words. It stikes me as somewhat interesting that I filter out most of the things that happen during the day. Reoccuring events or things of seeming little significance become white noise in the background. And yet, I can't help feeling that if I recalled everything perfectly that I might make some sort of meaningful pattern out of the ephemera, like finding some alien signal in the background noise of the universe. Alas, I depend on the stuff that screams out to me, "Write Me!" Maybe that's just the choice that my mind makes subconsciously. And writing is after all about making choices. Or is that life ... I forget which is which sometimes....
As I was driving from my friend, Avis', house in South Bay today, I thought about the sofa and loveseat I had just agreed to buy from her aunt. Was it a good buy? Was it a good price? Most of all though, I thought about the fact that it was used. Another good friend of mine Anita, had recently told me about a book, Cradle to Cradle, which discusses the ways in which designers should take into account "eco-effectiveness" in their designs. Products ought to be easily broken down and recyclable and processes should clean the environment instead of pollute it. Along these lines, I started to think about the way that we consume things in our society. We like to buy things new and toss the old in a dumpster somewhere. Computer printers, for example, are often about as expensive as the replacement ink cartridges for their predecessors. It's just more cost-effective to buy a new one. The old one ends up languishing in the garage for a couple of decades until someone decides it's useless enough to throw away. Somehow it seems like it would be better if new items were not as cheap as they are. I think about all the Ikea furniture that is bought as "interim" furniture, planned to be replaced the second it is purchased. Don't get me wrong, a lot of stuff in Ikea is nice, but a lot of people go there in hopes of finding something cheap to last until something more permanent comes along. To that end, I'm glad I bought a used piece of furniture, maybe I saved it from the horrible fate of landfill. Of course the set that I bought was pretty nice so I don't think it was headed there....
Another day lays its weary head to rest, as hands come together like applause. I pause and reflect that, on a arbitrary day nearly six months its opposite, that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I consider then, the importance of saying grace before meals. This is something I do not do, not having a religion that asks it of me. Perhaps though it is something that should transcend religious boundaries. Saying grace at meals insures that one considers for at least one moment every day what one should be thankful for. What are you thankful for? Something to consider as the day winds down.
Yesterday, the order came down from upper management that all work on projects without signed agreements should stop immediately. Working without an agreement? Why would anyone do that? Surprisingly enough, this shuts down all but three or four major projects (we have about 10 to 15 major projects in design right now). It's funny how out of wack something can become before someone comes along and says, "Hey, stop that, what do you think you're doing?"
Random quote of the Day: "Oh, we have a home. We just need a house to put it in." - An anonymous child. If only you could bottle up a child's point of view and sell it....
I spent my day off -- yes, I work one of those schedules where I get an extra day off every two weeks. And I get to pick which day! -- helping a friend clean her new apartment. It's quite something to let go of everything that you consider to be important for a day and help someone out with what they see as important. But alas, it's another day today and I must get back to what is important to me. Anyone want to help? ;)