Monday ... a weekend gone and still no taxes paid. I was all set to do nothing on this absolutely gorgeous weekend when my good friend Rich up and hijacked my entire Saturday. So I spent most of Saturday being an extra in a independent short film. Basically it amounted to being in the background for a dance scene where we were supposed get freaky with our clothes on. It's all very hush, hush so I can't say more than that. After a long day of way too many takes, Rich and I headed down to PA for Roger's birthday party. We ended the night at Chalker's, some crappy ass bar with diminutive pool tables and mixed drinks that tasted like rubbing alcohol and cost 8 dollars a glass. Oh, did I mention that it was in Stanfurd? Figures.
Sunday was pretty tame. Went to the Home Depot Expo Center and looked at cool stuff that I won't be able to afford for quite awhile. Then I bummed around my place until my honey came over and we had dinner. We were supposed to do taxes (ain't that romantic?) but we ended up watching last week's episode of Dawson's Creek. Other than that, nothing insightful happened this weekend. Things to look forward to during the week: taxes! (hopefully), packing (also hopefully), and close of escrow (finally!)
I was surfing the web yesterday (much like other days) and I stumbled across this. It's amazing what teenagers can accomplish these days. I was feeling a little unaccomplished yesterday because of this, but I'm over it now (sort of). Went climbing with Rich yesterday for the first time in a couple of weeks. I feel so outta shape after, but my wrists definitely needed the break. BTW, I recommend clicking on the link above and going to Rich's site if you want to have a flavor for some of the really embarrassing things that I say when I'm with my friends.
Okay, now that you're back (you did go look at the site didn't you? I'll wait...)
Okay, now that you've gone and come back, to all the offended women out there, rest assured, I will probably get smacked the next time I see my honey. Hi Honey!
Alright, it's almost the weekend. For me that means (drum roll, please) TAXES! For the few of you that actually read this (I'll admit, that's not alot, since I still haven't finished configuring the front page to this site) and are wondering why I've been procrastinating so long, it's cause my taxes usually end up about as thick as an IKEA catalog. For those of you that realize that this is a GOOD thing, rest assured, I'm not complaining. For those of you that don't know this already, I'll have to quote Puffy, "Mo' money, mo' problems." And for those of you that don't think that it's a good thing, I applaud your transcendentalist attitudes ... okay, that was a little metaphysical. Before I get all spiritual and shiet, I'm outie.
Random Quote of the Day: If you had your life to live over again - you'd need more money. -- Construction Digest
Went to Skates yesterday with (in order around the table) Alvin, Mark, Mike, Leland, Ben, and Brian. The server came up and asked, "Where are all the ladies?" Indeed. Mine was stuck at work watching people move boxes. Why are people moving boxes at 9 o'clock at night? Because some sort of building code that her building has prohibits movers until after 5 o'clock. This is brilliant don't you think? Restrict the large moving trucks so that they HAVE to come and park during rush hour. Add to that, the building is near PacBell park, where traffic is WORSE after work. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Anyway, I digress. I must say that Skate's doesn't seem to be such a great place for seafood anymore. I'm not sure if their quality has suffered or if my taste buds have become more bougie. Oh well, can't fight the gentrification of the soul. :P
A little wartime frustration sent to me by some friends.
Warning: Here begins the more abstract parts. So I was thinking the other day, photons, those little particles of light, they don't age. They get from one end of the universe to the other in zero seconds (from their POV). They exist everywhere on their line (or wave) of travel at once. Actually it's not a line or a wave, it's just a point, because from their POV, the universe is infinitely small. I think this means something ... I'm not sure what though. Einstein was a wacky guy.
On Monday, Richard sent me this link and while it didn't really disturb me that much, I still found it shocking enough to be worthwhile to post. The fact is, I thought that Bowling for Columbine was a very good movie regardless of its aptness as a documentary. And I think it's main message is the same. It is disturbing though, the persuasive power of propaganda that is so widely accepted. Question everything. Only you can determine what is of value to you.
Question of the Day: Is my blog too metaphysical?
After my weekly, though far from typical, Monday night supper club activities, I settled in at home and thought about starting on my taxes when I caught a PBS special on Ansel Adams. I wish that I had seen that before I had gone to see the exhibit that the SFMOMA had not too long ago. I don't think I have much of an appreciation for photography as an art but after seeing that, I think I should pay a little more attention to the photography exhibits that I see from now on and maybe find some way to drag one of my photographer friends along too. :)
During the PBS special, they read some of the letters that Ansel Adams wrote. The lyricism of writing in those days reminded me of this letter by Sullivan Ballou, made famous by another PBS special, Ken Burn's "The Civil War". Which brings me full circle to the past week's inescapable news.
Do issues seem to be more complicated in this day and age? Were they any easier to understand in the past? Or is it that time removes the complications that we perceive? Tennessee Williams wrote, "Time is the greatest distance between two places." If distance gives us perspective, when the acts of today are history, will we understand all of this a little better? Or maybe the chaotic complexities of the moment are the only truth there ever is and all this talk of a clarity is a way to fit an infinity of viewpoints into a paper cup.
Got back from Seattle last night. It was nice to be out of the rain and wind, though my room above the garage doesn't compare to a heated hotel room. The Emerald city turned out to be a lot sunnier than we had anticipated, so I guess we caught a break there. On Saturday we ended up going to the original Starbucks, the Bon Marche (shopping), and a Steinway & Sons store ( the nine foot grand was sooooo nice. :) ), in the morning. We caught the monorail over to the Seattle Center and spent an hour or so chillin at the top. Then went to the Experience Music Project, which architecturally wasn't quite as cool as the Guggenheim in Bilbao, but was packed with lots of cool stuff. If you go, beware of the hefty ticket prices, $20! You can get an individual membership w/ guest ticket for $45, which probably works out better since it's tax deductible.
After we got back to downtown, we booked it over to the Flying Fish which turned out to be an excellent restaurant; I highly recommend it. Try the mussels, monkfish and/or the escolar. We had dessert, a Dolomiti, which is a Gelato Espresso float, at Gelatiamo. Carol didn't like it so much, too much espresso; I thought it was pretty good though. We walked (more shopping) around a little more after that and then called it a night.
The next day we went down the Aquarium, which I though was just so-so (no sharks! :| ) and went for some famous Ivar's clam chowder (mmmmm). We stumbled onto Furniture Alley on our way to Pioneer Square and did a little furniture shopping for me (yea!). Pioneer square ended up being pretty boring during the day, but I remember my last trip to Seattle and it's a pretty hoppin place at night. By then we were pretty exhausted so we went back to Pike's Place Market and sat around for a bit before heading to the Airport and back home.
My friend Connie has sent me a couple of links. One on the Geostrategic Reasons we have for going to war -- which, besides being a fascinating read, seems much more compelling than our other "reasons" for war -- and another on the parallels to infamous historical events. But I'm tired of talking about war (not tired of thinking about it though) and I'm sure those of you who haven't been bored out of your wits want to change the channel
We interrupt your normal 24/7 coverage of Operation "insert inane name here" for NCAA Basketball! Go Bears! In light of recent events I think we should ALL watch more sports on TV. And if there were a few more pretzels in the world that wouldn't be a bad thing either. (You know, I think there's a joke hidden in there somewhere. ;) ) This little bit of levity brought to you by: Boost Mobile Commercials (I can't decide if they are funny or just plain wrong.) and the word "Chipotle" (I wish I worked for Jack in the Box Marketing)
Update: I just received this on my work e-mail:
To all Port of Oakland Staff:
Please be advised that protesters from San Francisco may be arriving shortly in Jack London Square. Oakland Police will be handling any situation that may arise.
Employees may leave the office now. Those who intended to work after hours, are advised to go home.
Thank you.
Tay Yoshitani
Executive Director
Well, I'm going to be taking off this weekend to spend "quality" time with my kick-ass girlfriend. So if you don't see updates over the weekend, you'll know that I've either been overrun by protesters or something worse. ;P
As the minute hand swept past twelve, we were all left waiting for a beginning, waiting for an ending. As I've vacillated over the past 48 hours over which side of this fence I should be on, I've had to consider this: After wading through all the rhetoric to see what is covered in propaganda. After peeling away the layers of spin and counter-spin. I have to ask, with nothing left to believe in, what is the truth?
The truth is, our timing stinks. The hour is long past where we could have made a difference to Iraqi people. Because we choose to abide by multilateral thinking, we blinded ourselves to an obligation to people. Not our people, but the people we sought to help. But we were not ready then to break the rule of international law, even though it is that hesitancy that would have saved us in our transgression. That hesitancy which we lack now; the gates then are thrown open and we are the ones with Pandora's box.
The truth is, we hold the power, but we do not bear the responsibility. Too often have we chosen action and ignored reaction. Now this action, which is in likelihood (but still uncertain) our strategic interest, will almost certain propagate reaction which our efforts to stem will make vigilance seem like vigilantism.
The truth is, this is about economic self interest. Everyone else is willing to fight for theirs, are you willing to fight for yours?
The truth is, today is over. We lost this fight a long time ago. We closed our eyes for too long, too jaded by the lies of too many people trying to get their way. So I say, make your own way. Start fighting for a future you do believe in. Don't believe the world will be a safer place when you wake up tomorrow. But work to make it a better place everyday after, cause the one truth that I do know, when the next crisis comes, we will be talking about how our actions after this war got us into that mess.
Anyone who is not morally opposed to the idea of war is an idiot. Are there, however, situations when war is necessary? I am just one person, I can not contemplate the justification where I might decide to take the lives of many. I can, however, imagine a situation where I may be forced to decide between my life and the life of another. So the question I ask myself is, would I kill to save myself?
Unhesitatingly, I say yes. I can only cite selfish reasons for that and I can only look up to anyone who holds pacifism a higher standard than self preservation. But it is my choice and I would dare say, the choice of a great many. Which brings us back to the main question, is war ever justified? I have never witnessed the atrocities of war; I can not answer those who wage peace at any cost. In this, as people, as nations, we have our personal experiences and ideals; we end up with out own individual choices.
So I am saying that I suppose a war in Iraq? Honestly, I don’t know what I believe, even in this late hour. But here are some thoughts about the impending war:
This is about economic interest. The US is probably the most oil dependent nation in the world and the vitality of its economy is largely dependent on a stable supply of oil in coming from the Middle East. Similarly, France, Russia, and China all have long-term economic interests in the Middle East and in Iraq that will probably be harmed by an invasion of Iraq. Thus the schism in the United Nations is as much an economic one as a moral one.
Iraq probably has weapons of mass destruction. They had tons of biological and chemical weapons in 1991 when evidence was uncovered. There was a defector who stated publicly that the UN inspectors hadn’t even scratched the surface of the weapons that Iraq possessed and another who claims that Iraq was very close to having nuclear weapons right before the first Gulf War.
There a decent argument, though not conclusive, that much of the inspectors’ recent gains in Iraq were due to US military presence and continuing escalation of war threats. People argue that the war will cost a lot. Guess what, the inspections are costing us a lot too. On top of that, UNSCOM has been inspecting Iraq on and off for over twelve years now, you think they might have gotten pretty good at eluding UNSCOM by now? Without US military presence in the Gulf and with the splintering of focus in the security council, Saddam was able to kick the inspectors out once. If you think the public is immune to distraction, and that this won’t happen again….
On the other hand, the US has a long history of generally sucking at following through after it has engaged in military action in a country. Can you find Afghanistan on map? How about Kosovo? East Timor? Bosnia? Rwanda? Somalia? Do you know what going on there right now? Do you think this time will be any different?
The words pre-emptive and unilateral are scary words in world politics. How far will we go? Our country is predicated on a system of checks and balances because our forefathers knew that no one could be trusted with all the power… after US action leaves the UN an ineffectual organization, there really will be no limits to US military might. Since when did it become okay to hit a bully cause you “thought” he was going to take your lunch money?
And the big reason, people will die. For the basic reason we oppose killing, we oppose war. And opposition to war is good, it shows some sanity in a society. The one hope I have is that our President does not believe the rhetoric he spins. That he agonizes every night over the decisions he makes. No man, in good conscience should choose war easily, and once chosen, he should understand that he marries himself to a remorse that he must bear for the rest of his life.
At this late hour, I can not say what it right, what is wrong. I ask myself how can I better this world when I can not decide which way to go? I can only laugh bitterly at the silly rhetoric spun in the media today. I can only weep silently for these ideals of peace and humanity whose defeat may assure their existence in a world of weapons of mass destruction. I can only pray hopefully that the unforeseeable repercussions of these actions will not have made worse the future we did not choose.
Watched American History X this weekend. Very good movie, highly recommended. Facilitated a session at Berkeley this weekend; for those of you who know what I'm talking about, Team Chartering is dumb. I've been meaning to work on the material I present, but it doesn't seem to be a high enough priority. Hung out in the city with Carol last night; we went to eat at this decently good and inexpensive Indian place Irving near seventh (sorry, I'm not good with names). Okay this entry's dry, nothing I write's going to change that now. :P
Update: My friend just sent me this. I have such sick friends
One month until taxes are due. *dread* I'd chastise myself for procrastinating (once again) however, there is a good reason why I wait until the last second. I actually have to make sure that that one last pay check clears the bank before I have enough to actually PAY my taxes (plus penalties). Ah well. On a brighter note, it was a beautiful day today ... well at least for a few hours. Urge ... to purchase ... convertible ... overwhelming.
Hands still hurt a little, hopefully I won't do too much typing this weekend.
Okay, I don't think that I have RSI, but my hands still hurt like a bitch and I'm trying to stay off them. I still have a few fingers bandaged together so typing is still a little tough, so I'm gonna keep it short. BTW, that quote from yesterday, apologies for any offense, just a little bit of humor ya know?
Short. Think I may have RSI, maybe not injury, maybe just strain. Hands bandaged, hunk and peck typing. :P Ppl teling me to see doc. Too lazy. Hope feels better tomorrow.
Old quote of the day: (Corrected by Greg Chew) "Never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die."
Disclaimer: The following may contain some obscene language. Viewer discretion is advised.
I AM SOOOO FUCKING PISSED OFF. THIS IS THE SECOND FUCKED UP DAY IN A ROW THAT THE WORTHLESS, SHITTY POSEY TUBE WAS SHUT DOWN. I WAS HALF WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE THE THE FUCKING ISLAND WHEN THEY REOPENED IT. SINCE THERE WAS SO MUCH FUCKING TRAFFIC ON PARK STREET I TURNED AROUND AND BY THE TIME I GOT BACK, THERE WAS ANOTHER FUCKING STALL IN THE TUBE. UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE. I HATE THAT INBRED, WORTHLESS HELLHOLE OF AN ISLAND. I HOPE IT SINKS INTO THE FUCKING BAY LIKE THE PIECE OF SHIT THAT IT IS WHEN THE NEXT EARTHQUAKE HITS. I HATE LIVING IN ALAMEDA!!!!! AND BY THE WAY, THE POSEY TUBE SMELLS LIKE ASS.
I say, "I work longer hours." You hear, "I work harder." (And in fact, if one happens to know my work schedule, one knows that get a day off every two weeks so longer hours don't amount to squat.) I say, "It's raining there." You hear, "Let's go somewhere else." (And in fact, I'm more partial to rain than to sun.) Which are the real words that were communicated, the ones I said or the ones you heard? Which is the real me, the one I am or the one you see?
How then should we distinguish reality from what is perceived, when in truth all we have is what we see, these shadows of reality? All these things that seem or I thought were said, are they then there only in my head? I must insist that the world exists, else I go crazy and then from crazy slowly lazy. Perhaps then all that I know are dreams dreamt from what to me seems. This imagination's in my mind, so here's the compromise I must find. I'll work to change this dream of mine, and alter therein reality's line. The newborn real will better these perceptions, and thus will I better my self-deception
In truth, perhaps I want to say, "I work harder." But knowing that it's not true, I say, "I work longer hours." And perhaps I long for a sunny weekend away from the rain, and wanting that to be your dream too, I say, "It's raining there." Perhaps then, you've heard me right all along.
Okay, quick update, 'cause I should be working and 'cause I didn't get a chance to yesterday. Spent most of yesterday with Carol; went salsa dancing at night (first time!); watched the second part of Seven Samurai. What does all this mean? It means that once again, I haven't done the following things: expense reports, taxes, finishing the main page to this website, updating the tbp website. Ah, aren't priorities wonderful?
One last thing ... I think the most valuable skill to have is the ability to perform. Now, maybe that doesn't exactly classify as a skill, but in the end, it's what it all comes down to. For me, it's about overcoming a fear of looking stupid, silly, or outright uninteresting. For me, it's fear that I'll do something wrong that makes mistakes. I have this idea that the great performers simply never learned how to make a mistake. For the rest of us mere morals, we had to practice how not to make mistakes; the great ones never knew any other way than the right way. Anyway, I need to unlearn this thinking that mistakes are natural.
I am in the process of trying to forget how silly I looked last night. Unfortunately, right around the time it finally falls out of the congested mind of mine, I'm sure the pictures will post and I will have to relive the horror. Nevertheless, last night went pretty well except for the silent auction fiasco. Can you imagine putting down a bid and retracting it after you had won?!? Lame. You'd think that people going to a fund raiser would be a little more conscientious. :P
It was a beautiful day in the Berkeley Marina today. Lots of wicked cool kite flying going on. I was glad to see that California Alpha is still thriving after all these years. Sunny days and Tau Beta Pi always bring back feelings of nostalgia (Though not necessary the same memories) As I was whipping down 80 towards Berkeley, I was seriously missing my Sebring and secretly wishing that I'll have enough flow to get that uber-cool 350z convertible that hasn't even been released yet.
Reading this, you might think that I was depressed, pretentious, seeking attention, or all of the above. Honestly though, it's just a thin slice of this multifaceted life of mine. Any account fail short of capturing a moment and a moment is often misleading and not indicative of the whole. Anyway, I gotta stop using multi-syllabic words (promise last one), besides I R an enguneer (I actually received a letter spelled that way. It's a sad, sad world) and I can't spell (Thank you Microsoft for making it look like I can).
Anyway, so today's the big day. AEA's annual lunar new year dinner! I'll be dressing up in drag for this year's skit. Woe is me! Well, with any luck it'll be weeks or months before those pictures are posted, but those of you looking for a good laugh are welcome to check that site often in hopes that the digi cam fairy will post. Actually what I'll need is a video of the fiasco, since the memory wouldn't be complete without my crappy falsetto and horribly un-PC fobby accent.
Fear. Always the terrific anticipation, the delicious dread of what tomorrow will bring. Though, if I were truly blind to what the future holds, then there would be no such thing. So it is my own limited presentiment that allows me to strangle myself. And I am running always to stay in the spotlight of my own fate. And when it does not move fast enough to keep me off balance I get bored with myself and cast about for a deeper meaning to life. What sad creature am I to be lead and not lead, to react without act?
I spit and curse these self-pitying thoughts. This is just the faux model of my psyche that I have created for today, complete with it's limited truths and hidden meanings. I am the marionette, but it is not me. I toss aside the pretension that I can know anything, even myself, shred these shadow shrouds, douse the fire of the moment that casts them, and walk on into uncertainty, content with possibility.
"What's in a name, that which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet;"
I think though that something therein, is contained. Perhaps it is not the name itself but rather the utterance or usage of it which contains power. Consider how a name makes a thanks more heartfelt, a hello more welcoming, a simple jibe or compliment more pregnant with meaning or innuendo. Whispered names become intimate and overflowing with passion. Names shouted aloud, freeze us in our tracks, move us to act, lead us to rethink our actions. And so, like most words, they contain no power. They merely amplify the meaning and the magic that we give them.
Again priorities, or my sense of them, has lead my to negligence. And why should i care so much to be consistent in my thoughts both in content and period? This OCD (Is anything a disorder anymore? How long since order was the norm?) incurable.
Sciolist (SAI-uh-list) noun: One who engages in pretentious display of superficial knowledge. Words become a mirror from which I find definitions for myself.
A brief run down, since anything more would be boring, and anything less, less. Weekend, flew down to LA, hung with Manny, Ewey, and Chia; crashed in Pass (Thanks Manny!); Facilitated in Pomona; visited the bougainvilleas at the Getty; dined extravagantly with Alvin and Mark; brunched with Audra and Kai (whom helped me install 5.1 at my mom's); caught up with some family friends; flew home the next day; slept sometime between semicolons. In the weeks of silence prior to that, did some of the usual hanging out with Allison and Andy and climbing with Rich, as well as adding some more to my usual routine.
As an explanation to that last bit of vagary, it should suffice to say that I was for a brief period, going on dates with two women (No, not simultaneously. This isn't Elimidate) Now, however, I have a wonderful (nascent as our relationship is) girlfriend, Carol. To all other inquiries, I reference Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken.
Okay, that's about as much spilling of my personal history as I can stand for now.