The weeks seem to get crazier as Christmas approaches. I think they've gone insane upstairs in the Maritime Division. Actually they're totally rational people, they just don't care about us lowly engineers. I used to remark how telling it was that the elevator light for down was a Dantean Red whereas the light for up was a pearly white. I used to when I had the time or energy. These days I'm responsible for various stages of planning, design, and construction support of 160 acres over here at the Port of Oakland (believe me, it looks nothing like that movie "Romeo Must Die") It's a fair bit of work, but of course it doesn't end there. I'm also in charge of berth deepening, BART coordination, and this pesky maintenance and repair building that seems to get more expensive by the day. I'm not sure that I have it the worst though. I have one co-worker in charge of all commercial real estate (not really as bad as it sounds), a facilities building which is doomed to much litigation, and all the future rail in the Port of Oakland (exactly as bad as it sounds). I have another who has a project which started 50 million dollars over budget (okay sometimes the people upstairs are off their rockers) and another who's in charge of what will be the last new facility in the Port (I can see the environmental whoremongers lining up now).
Then again, maybe I've gotten crazier over the last few weeks. After wrestling for weeks about the problem of getting a christmas tree into my house, (Clementine is the only car I have right now), I've decided that I'll actually risk trying to carry the tree in the passenger seat. Hopefully I won't get sap all over the leather seats. Sadly, had I actually thought about it with my whole brain instead of half, I would have asked my housemate to help me this past week. It's as they say, "if it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." And Christmas shopping, don't get me started ... or rather, please get me started. Lamentable is the state I'm in.
Fortunately I have less than a week to wait for C____ to fly back here. Then I'll be able to breathe.
On a day where the world ends a couple hundred feet in front of my face, everything in my mind is a jumble. Half formed thoughts pack my brain like an ice chest filled to the brim. Raw freshly picked ideas are mixed in with day-old, stale things that should be thrown out:
On Wednesday, Rumsfeld got some tough questions thrown at him and I can't say that I've ever been prouder of our troops. Yesterday I fishtailed twice rounding the corner trying to get onto W80. It was late and there was no one around so I foolishly tested the limits of my car on a mist-slick road. I slowed, subtly reprimanded, by the sight of a Z4 being lead by tow truck like a sickly puppy. On my way home I saw several cars kissing guardrails on various off ramps. For some reason people seem to think this story about laptops and sperm is interesting. A question still hangs in the air from the previous night, where does all this fog come from?
These musings are tossed out as I step out of my office. Normally, rain or shine, I can see the estuary from the front doors. Today reality extends less than a hundred yards in any direction. Walking toward the cafe where I get my lunch, I can see my existence being created a step at a time. A 40 foot christmas tree aperates like a ghost ship sliding on fiction. I wonder, if I walk toward the water, will it still be there. Maybe, expecting the constant lapping of waves against rocks, I will be greeted by silence. Then when I look back will I find as much uncertainty and possibility as I do in front of me?
I take the well worn, well known path instead of the one less traveled by. I sit with the certainty of stacks of paper, files and plans surrounding me. I can help but look out the window to where the building across the way should be and where a row of sycamores has given way to a single survivor, lit by diffuse daylight. I can help but look and wonder where it all went, and where the fog comes from.
This is an entirely sports related entry, you may stop reading at any time.
The Good: Jeff Tedford, the football coach for the California Golden Bears, who in three years has turned our 1-10 team into the fourth best team in the country, signed a five year contract to stay at Cal. Sandy Barbour, the Cal Athletic Director, raised all the money to keep him here from private donors in two and a half months.
The Bad: Cal, now ranked #5 by the BCS, will not be going to the Rose Bowl and instead will be headed to the Holiday Bowl. The difference in payout is $10,500,000.
The Ugly: Cal dropped from #4 to #5 last weekend mainly because of of the drop in the Coaches' Poll. Four voters dropped Cal to #7 and two voters to #8. The previous week no voter had Cal ranked below #6.
Some things defy explanation.
Courtesy of Luna:
Main Entry: sconyC____ and I finally figured out how to communicate via webcam. It was difficult at first. Neither of us knows sign language so we startd mouthing words incomprehensibly to each other and waving our arms around like we were dancing to YMCA. Then we figured out how to turn on the sound.
It was a few weeks ago I was sitting in my car listening to a story about a man who somehow had a "closed" security camera feed on one of his cable channels. Real reality tv if you'll pardon the pun. Eventually this became his favorite channel despite there being but one person who ever walked by. Why this was interesting I can't explain, but if you've read this far, then I think you know already.
Like I said, some things defy explanation.
I'm home now, rather unexpectedly. I thought that the only way I'd be back in Southern California in the near future would be for Cal to go to the Rose Bowl. Everyone here seems to be doing well. Lila's the one in the most pain, but she says that she's getting better daily. My mom and my brother both caught some sort of bug while they were over on the other side of the Pacific Rim and that really seems to be the worst of it. Well unless you consider the car. I suppose I didn't describe it well enough in my previous entry. Well, now that I've seen pictures, I'll remedy that. First off, I'll have to take my hat off to my mom. Kudos for hitting the the light pole smack on the Lexus badge. (Hey, you gotta laugh about these things -- commence with nervous laugh that follows near-death experience) The light pole ended up somewhere around or behind where the front axle ought to have been. That is, it was there before it proceeded to topple into the roadway. Remarkably, with all that damage, the interior was intact and the front windshield was undamaged. The passenger side door doesn't work too well because someone left the remnants of a cast iron fence directly adjacent to it. Out of some morbid curiosity I want to go see the wreck since I'm wondering how the 4.3 Liter V8 engine fit in to that small space that was left it. Now that I'm done with the levity, let me reiterate, lest I seem ungrateful. All of us are very thankful that no one was hurt, especially since it happen mid afternoon while children were playing in the nearby playground (whose parking lot my mom managed to steer into and out of before being rudely stop by said lightpole) and since a major biotech firm is headquartered no more than a block away and since the large gated community where my mom lives is even closer than that.
Now that the important stuff is out of the way, on to other updates. No, I didn't have a successful Nanowrimo. I ended up with just over 10k words by the deadline. I think it's stuff that I really want to write about, so I'll keep plugging away and hopefully if I do enough of this writing stuff, next November won't be as bad as this one. Carol's nephew was born on November 20th and thanksgiving was that much more special because of it. He's a cute guy, I'll try to post pictures, but my backlog on getting pictures up is pretty long so don't count on it. Anyway, that's enough for tonight ... I'm stealing wireless one of the neighbors so I'd better not dally here too long.
Dear Dad,
It really is the season for thanks. Please don't be mad at mom, it's been hard for her with grandma's passing. She sounded so tired when I talked to her on the phone yesterday. I know she shouldn't have been driving, but I'm thankful -- we're all thankful -- that she didn't hit another car or worst yet, a pedestrian. I'm thankful that all three of them, you wife, your daughter, you grand-daughter are all alright. I think though that you probably knew before I did. You were there, I think, to make sure that the concrete lightpole didn't come down on the car afterward. You were there, or perhaps you know someone up there that made sure that nothing truly bad happened.
Please continue to watch over mom, you know she gets angry when people are careless. I know she must feel guilty; let her know that it's okay and that these things happen. Please watch over Lila. She's in the most pain now and she's probably angry, relieved and frustrated all at once. These are difficult times and they both need you. And please watch over David, he's so far away now and he must feel even more helpless than me, being away at this time.
We miss you now, more than ever. But we're thankful thinking that you're still looking after us.
Your loving son,
Tony