I've avoided saying certain things about my workplace, things that aren't common knowledge, things that I won't even mention in front of certain co-workers. After today however, I feel less inclined to keep their secrets. I am emboldened with this thin veil of anonymity (that would make a agent provocateur model blush) and the knowledge that the Executive Director here takes his cues from Robert Mugabe (hence forth I will call him Mr. Mugabe). For those who like numbers, here goes: We are roughly $18M (this year) away from meeting our debt obligations. Like a mortgage with certain clauses, if we do not meet our debt coverage ratio, our bond rating goes down and our interest rate goes up (thus making it ever harder to meet the coverage ratio). To meet this challenge Mr. Mugabe has proposed the elimination of 100 positions, 30 of which are vacant. Of those 70 that have to go, 47 must come from Engineering. We've proposed cost cuts, to which he has responded that those cost cuts will go to paying down the debt, not to reducing layoff (also there are another 35 vacant positions elsewhere that will be filled in the coming year), making it clear that his strategy is not to cut costs, but to restructure the business. His vision, if you will, is simply to get out of the business of developing.
This may make sense, if you think of us (as a quasi-government agency) as unable to compete with private developers. It may make more sense if you know that Mr. Mugabe previously swung a number of deals with private developers at below market rates. Or it may make sense if you knew that Mr. Mugabe worked for two real estate companies which were domestic arms of some Saudi Arabian real estate Investors. In journalism they say, follow the money, so stay with me here. All of this may seem like the rumblings of a disgruntled employee and certainly a part of it is. My main frustration goes much farther back however. Since 2001 I've been working on various projects, now totaling something close to $50M. These projects have been utilized by one of our clients in particular, whose lease expired in 2004. As of today, we have not signed a new lease agreement with them. And why? Because under the terms of the newly offered deal, under which we should recoup the costs of our $50M investment, we owe our tenant roughly $2.5M on day one.
My frustration isn't solely that 70 people are going to lose their jobs. Nor is it enough to say that I'm angry that people who did their job well are being shown the door and people who can't do their jobs at all are being kept to run the place. My embitterment stems from this sinking feeling that Mr. Mugabe's sole focus is to maximize the return on investment. Unfortunately, neither I, nor anyone I talk to can figure out who our real investors are.
My cousin's wedding was this weekend. Seeing a good number of the cousins all together is always a joy, especially when I get to talk to the ones from Taiwan that I don't see that often. Of course, it's never enough time. My Mandarin is pretty horrible and certainly not enough to work through the awkwardness of time apart and the difference in culture. It struck me, however, sad that I was now one of those guests that was not really there for the festivities as for the ceremony. The difference between the two groups is immediately obvious: those that get up and dance or toast the bride and groom sometime during the evening, and those that sit on the sidelines during the reception and leave soon after the cake is cut. There are a few more weddings this year though, and I am glad that for those we will have moved back in time to reclaim some of the youth that once we had.
Since last week, I've done nothing to the water heater. The bad part of it, is that I've sorta gotten used to the fact that my water heater is sagging. This of course, is just a form of procrastination. I have another phone call to make and after that, I'm buying a few floor jacks from home depot and having at it. Also, since last week, the ECU for my car's been shipped to Texas and back and I'm planning on reinstalling it later today. Hopefully I won't screw anything else up. Though my car problems have been foremost in my mind, perhaps the most pressing issue is work. Work becomes the focus of our lives too often. Even so, it's almost surprising what sort of vacuum it leaves. Even considering my life after a potential layoff is like looking in to a black hole. I'm not particularly worried, that is, not worried about surviving after being laid off, however, I find myself hesitant to make any plans for the future at all. Before it was time off from work that I sought, now it's the loss of a steady stream of income that I fear. Time and money, like Superman and Clark Kent, don't seem to be available at the same time.
Yesterday was a disaster.
Before the contractor arrived, I decided to upload a program I recently purchased into my car. The progress meter read 80% when my computer shut off. I was, understandably, upset. The documentation clearly said that car would not start again if the ECU crashed. Then the contractor came by and told me it would be $1000 to fix my water heater pedestal. By midmorning I had ripped the ECU out of my car and was lugging it to the doctor's office for my check-up. Afterward they told me to schedule a physical. I wondered if they weren't both the same thing.
From there I walked to the BART station and then on to work. At least now I know that it takes an hour and a half to walk/BART to work. It's not a particularly pleasant walk either, past some shady parts of town, across freeway off ramps, through narrow tunnels with semis passing by at freeway speeds, beneath and across a couple of heavy rail tracks. There are a number of ways to die on my way to work, none of them pleasant. The rest of my day was the usual morass of self-pity and loathing.
On the bright side, we had a decent home made meal with some darn good $16 wine, all after a long walk in the park.
I'm playing hooking from work for a couple of reasons this morning. I have a contractor coming over to take a look at the sinking water heater and I have a doctor's appointment for my very non-annual checkup. The great thing about being afraid of being laid off is that you actually go out and use your benefits. As for the layoffs, things continue to deteriorate ... at least in terms of moral. My boss has told me on several occasions that he really doesn't care anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am totally fine with my boss not caring. I'm fine with my co-workers not caring either. Hell, I don't know that I particularly care. But I really don't need to hear it every day. It's depressing.
My project is essentially on life support. There was a moment early yesterday morning when I thought we weren't going to be able to salvage it. I ended up uncovering a bit of misinformation that was being used to set a deadline. I'm not sure that really played to my department's advantage however. We might have been better served in this case if I had been an unthinking automaton. However, it's idle speculation. Perhaps the mistake would have been uncovered later. In any case, now I have the unfortunate responsibility to chastise my superiors for generating and reinforcing the misinformation.
My eight to five has taken a somber turn. There's still levity, though it be mostly gallows humor. We massed in the Board Room yesterday to show our protest to the layoffs. Still, they voted to send notices to all of the staff that layoffs would occur in sixty day's time. On top of that, the news says that traffic at the airport is down twenty percent. That's about what we noticed prior to Memorial Day.
I had left my absentee ballot at home yesterday. Luckily the polling station was open until 8:00pm. Apparently turnout for yesterday's California Primary was one of the worst ever. People walking in and turning in absentee ballots nearly outnumbered those going to vote in person. It made me wonder, if California had had only one primary and it had been yesterday, how the race for the democratic nomination might have been different. I won't speculate, but it's food for thought. In any case, I wish they had. The State could certainly use that money.
It was a good weekend despite the gloom that hung over it like Eliot's April. It started with a serendipitous crossing of paths with Connie at Dopo and Indy 4 on Friday. Continued on Saturday with dinner at Metro Kathmandu. And finished up with a quick trip to the gym and some random housework on Sunday. I managed to wash both cars two, so it was a very productive weekend.
This Monday, however, brought me back to earth with it's mundane uncertainties. My project is starting to pick up steam and I'm half heartedly going through the motions. Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow. Also, there was a two hour union meeting today to discuss our attendance at tomorrow's Board meeting. To be honest things don't look very promising any way I look at it. Apparently the euphemism for this layoff is "We're going to use all the tools in the toolbox." Personally I think the only tool the guy at the top has is a hammer. As the adage goes, "To the man who only has a hammer, ever problem looks like a nail."
In other news, I need to find a handyman (also known as a honey-do or a rent-a-husband). It's slightly embarrassing to admit that I can't fix this problem, but my water heater is about to fall through it's pedestal and I really don't want to deal with it myself. Even more embarrassing is admitting that I knew this would be a problem when they started installing the new heater. Oh the bitter fruits of my own procrastination.