Poetry

Not Me

Maybe this isn’t my beautiful dream
And the sky isn’t the right
blue today. Maybe all this talk of meant
to be, is just comfort on a cold night.

I move from scene to scene longing
To stand still, afraid of what will be
When I start to think that I don’t belong.
And all my life is a tragedy for all to see.

I begin to fear the shadows of pity
And self loathing that pursue me
Darkness chasing the sun setting over the city.
And soon night is thick as the darkened sea.

In awe of the power that a place has over
Me. Crippled by the memory of what this
Scent Once meant. The smile of a past lover
Whose love, after all these years, I still miss.

I wonder if it’s a game and am I some toy?
Is it a carnival ride for which I paid a fee?
And so I hide my grief in tears of joy.
Watching my love marry one who’s not me.